Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Vivian Moonshadow

Vivian was born a bit special, wise beyond her years, always alert, always seeing right into the people around her. This scared some people, made others think she was some kind of psychic. But she is not. For fun she sometimes told people what star sign they are. Why it worked most times she never really found out because honestly, she knows it can't be true. Why should people be who they are deep inside because they were born at a specific time? So she stopped doing that, because it scared her a bit. Though she will not admit it. She says it started boring her and was just a trick.
Vivian will never ever tell you her star sign. Or why there are some almost white hairs in her "mane". She is good at keeping her secrets but look keeping yours from her. 
I have my theory about her but they will remind just that. Mere theories. But I doubt she has more than theories about it herself.
I do know she is very proud, very confident, very "her". Ever since I met her (and that has been a while) she and I have never doubted who she is. She is also impatient (deep down I think that comes from her sometimes sensing what is going to happen anyway so she wants it to just happen so we "can get on with something else") and has a wicked sense of humour. She needs to be treated as a person and not as a child. Though she does love to be cuddled - but she will not initate it often.

you can find more pictures of her here:

Vivian Moonshadow measures about over 20 inches, she is my first sculpted doll. You could call her a prototype but I do not plan to sculpt many dolls as my more traditional style is something I could never give up. I enjoyed making her after letting go of my fears of failure first. Being my first she is by no means perfect. But those tug at my heartstrings most, like with "real" people, I am drawn to imperfections. I was surprised at who Vivian could have become, so many choices to be made and it took me a while to dare finish her because it felt strange to close the doors to her "parallel personalities" that could have been. I guess choices were harder knowing I will not make many "like" her so the closed doors will not be inspirations for a new doll but just be a little spark inside of Vivian.
In the end she became who I first envisioned (and me laughing at myself for ever thinking she could be someone else) but I love to think that some of the choices we didn't make are still buried inside her and if she loves her new home and trusts you enough, she will show you those as well <3
Vivian will be available auction style soon. I will announce details on my fb page as soon as she and I have figured it all out and I am sure I can let her go - not because I feel I have to protect her but because of all the time we spent together, my pride of how well my dip into sculpting turned out... Because it feels like a chapter will end with her.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

Mona - the vergissmeinnichtKuss miniMe

In theory it seemed so much fun and easy to make a mini me for a sleepover collaboration. But working on Mona was harder than I thought. We all have our individual styles and mine isn't very lifelike/realistic. So I decided to go with trying to capture the essence of me. And the big longish head ;) When I made the head I wasn't happy with it and chose a different one, not longish - but somehow the face seemed more "me".

Then the clothes.. as I don't live in a sleepover culture I had no idea what age people ususally do them. I spent some nights with friends during my early school years but that was just  me staying over, not a sleepover and nothing like a party, just having awkward dinner with the family, where I tried to be as polite and nice and generally non disturbing to the family as possible, and then going to bed and talking in bed longer than we were supposed to. At that age I mainly wore the clothes my mother chose and often made herself. 

Then there were the school trips. Going away with the class for a week in our teens, in hostels in a room with half of the girls (I was always in a class where there were about 8 girls max, average about 6, so we got the small rooms), where we of course tried to sneak over to the boys or were worried the girls in the other room would be more adventurous or have more fun than we did. That was also the time of the "dancing parties" where everyone would only dance to slow music and it seemed like an ok way to get a bit closer to the boys we liked. Me having grown into the tallest girl in class over the summer, towering over most of the boys as well didn't really help me not feeling awkward.
Well, what can I say, I have spent a lot of time thinking about me as a child and a teenager throughout this project, trying to figure out if an appropriate clothing style for it would be the colourful handmade unisex clothes my mum made me or the very, very more average than average clothes I wore in my early teens as not to stick out under any circumstance... 
I thought back to how I felt, all the insecurites, everything that held me back, how we all longed to live in the u.k. or the states where there were boarding schools, that seemed to be so strange, exotic and everything interesting happening there, big adventures amongst girls, blood sisters, boy stories, sleepovers; where you can drive a car at 16 or have your elder 16 year old siblings drive you around so you wouldn't depend so much on your parents. Thinking back to all the boys we talked about in our teens and who they are now. Now suddenly realizing they felt as insecure as we did back then. The heartache we caused and felt, the drama, the jealousy, the friendships that lasted, the ones that broke. How that child and teen is still a big part of who I am. 
Then sending Mona off, worrying if she will make friends, if she will be as shy as I was, as self conscious. Seeing the gorgeous other girls, more sophisticated, more confident. Knowing exactly who the mini me wanted to be like, who she wanted to be her best friend...
Childhood isn't always as happy as it looks even for the children blessed with a "happy childhood". Teenage years are straight down horrible for most. I know I had a happy childhood and easy teenage years. And thinking back to the girl I was has pushed me to places I thought I had forgotten. And then suddenly I saw Mona on the pics with the girls, through Megan's eyes, who did the best job ever. And I felt so happy, so happy to see Mona obviously having a great time, seeing how happy she is, how happy I often was even though of course the memories sticking most are the ones with drama and unhappiness. And I felt a bit ashamed for thinking: hey, that girl is/was actually quite cool. And yes, she is/was ME. In a way.

Mona will be looking for a new home this Sunday, 21st of June in a short auction from 3 to 4 pm EDT here: