In theory it seemed so much fun and easy to make a mini me for a sleepover collaboration. But working on Mona was harder than I thought. We all have our individual styles and mine isn't very lifelike/realistic. So I decided to go with trying to capture the essence of me. And the big longish head ;) When I made the head I wasn't happy with it and chose a different one, not longish - but somehow the face seemed more "me".
Then the clothes.. as I don't live in a sleepover culture I had no idea what age people ususally do them. I spent some nights with friends during my early school years but that was just me staying over, not a sleepover and nothing like a party, just having awkward dinner with the family, where I tried to be as polite and nice and generally non disturbing to the family as possible, and then going to bed and talking in bed longer than we were supposed to. At that age I mainly wore the clothes my mother chose and often made herself.
Then there were the school trips. Going away with the class for a week in our teens, in hostels in a room with half of the girls (I was always in a class where there were about 8 girls max, average about 6, so we got the small rooms), where we of course tried to sneak over to the boys or were worried the girls in the other room would be more adventurous or have more fun than we did. That was also the time of the "dancing parties" where everyone would only dance to slow music and it seemed like an ok way to get a bit closer to the boys we liked. Me having grown into the tallest girl in class over the summer, towering over most of the boys as well didn't really help me not feeling awkward.
Well, what can I say, I have spent a lot of time thinking about me as a child and a teenager throughout this project, trying to figure out if an appropriate clothing style for it would be the colourful handmade unisex clothes my mum made me or the very, very more average than average clothes I wore in my early teens as not to stick out under any circumstance...
I thought back to how I felt, all the insecurites, everything that held me back, how we all longed to live in the u.k. or the states where there were boarding schools, that seemed to be so strange, exotic and everything interesting happening there, big adventures amongst girls, blood sisters, boy stories, sleepovers; where you can drive a car at 16 or have your elder 16 year old siblings drive you around so you wouldn't depend so much on your parents. Thinking back to all the boys we talked about in our teens and who they are now. Now suddenly realizing they felt as insecure as we did back then. The heartache we caused and felt, the drama, the jealousy, the friendships that lasted, the ones that broke. How that child and teen is still a big part of who I am.
Then sending Mona off, worrying if she will make friends, if she will be as shy as I was, as self conscious. Seeing the gorgeous other girls, more sophisticated, more confident. Knowing exactly who the mini me wanted to be like, who she wanted to be her best friend...
Childhood isn't always as happy as it looks even for the children blessed with a "happy childhood". Teenage years are straight down horrible for most. I know I had a happy childhood and easy teenage years. And thinking back to the girl I was has pushed me to places I thought I had forgotten. And then suddenly I saw Mona on the pics with the girls, through Megan's eyes, who did the best job ever. And I felt so happy, so happy to see Mona obviously having a great time, seeing how happy she is, how happy I often was even though of course the memories sticking most are the ones with drama and unhappiness. And I felt a bit ashamed for thinking: hey, that girl is/was actually quite cool. And yes, she is/was ME. In a way.Mona will be looking for a new home this Sunday, 21st of June in a short auction from 3 to 4 pm EDT here:
http://hyenacart.com/sleepover/st/7977/59979/Mona-12inch-vergissmeinnichtKuss-miniMe
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